Home Again, Home Again Jiggity Jig

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It’s funny, when I used to fantasize about “moving back home” I thought for sure I’d be seeing Susan, Janice and Ruth every now and again. I wasn’t so naive as to think that we’d be pallin’ around every weekend but I thought we’d at least stay in touch. But now that we’re here and have been for seven months (man, my head spins around about 100 times just thinking about that fact) our contact with one another is virtually nonexistant. And freudian or not, I forgot to invite them to our Pumpkin Carving Party & Soup Exchange last weekend. How bizarre.

When we first got here and thought we were still on vacation I made sure we got to see Ruth, Susan and Janice right away. I couldn’t wait to see all of them and we had good times getting reaquainted. I think our first visit was with Ruth and it became clear very quickly that we’re in completely different worlds. I think during our time together she asked about my life maybe once. And the rest of the conversation was about her and Bill and the kids. As if she wasn’t even sure how to ask about our lives. I remember thinking at the moment how odd it felt to be in someone’s living room and not even have them interested in what’s going on in your life. I don’t think she even knows that I’m now a personal chef. And with Ruth in particular it’s very odd because she was the first person I saw four summers ago after finding out that Jeff had completely depleted our investments. It was at her kitchen table that I sobbed wracking sobs. But now, or at least seven months ago, it’s like that didn’t even happen, or maybe she remembers all too well that it did happen and because her life is so vastly different (she lives in the same neighborhood as Bill Gates. Literally), she can’t think of anything to say to me. So we’ve stayed and it looks like we are staying and I haven’t even told her. And the funny thing is I don’t feel that bad about it. It is what it is.

Susan has shown zero interest in getting together beyond the initial visit we had with her. I’ve tried with her once but she claimed to be tired that night and hasn’t shown any interest in rescheduling.Again that’s fine. Just different than I expected.

Janice is the one with whom I’ve had the most contact; visiting a couple of times and even going to her son’s birthd party in early July, but even that’s petered off in the last couple of months. She had been talking about hiring me on as a writer at her company and I even sent them a resume but haven’t heard anything. Not that any of that is Janice’s doing or undoing. She’s pretty much out of the loop but it’s just weird.

Again, not judging, just noticing it for what it is. And maybe the reason it didn’t even occur to me to invite them to the party was that deep down I know that those friendships are gone now. Family really is what motivated us to visit and family keeps us here. You can go home again but just don’t expect all your old friends to roll out the red carpet and treat you like a long lost friend. Oh wait, I thought I was the long lost friend!! Oh well.

It’s been a real treat to get to know my cousins for the individuals they are: funny, flawed, happy, joyous, loud, and obnoxious. No different from other families.

Need to run now and feed the children

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1 Comment

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