There’s A Parent For That

Today is a sad anniversary for the United States of America.  More specifically, it’s an anniversary of missing.  Thirty nine years ago the highest court in the most democratic country on planet Earth said it was just fine to kill a baby before it was born.  Since then we as a “free” society, made up of people from all over the world, have endorsed the killing of innocent lives.  Because of that we have missed 54 MILLION little things.  The things that make up the precious memories of our lives and the lives of our children:

*nuzzles on a warm, squishy neck
*gazes into completely innocent and tender eyes as we feed them
*first smiles
*hand-painted and hand-drawn pictures on the refrigerator
*toothless smiles
*notes to Santa Claus
*hugs around the neck
*reasons to get up in the morning
*”I love you Mommy!!”‘s being said as they go out to play
*bandaids and kisses
*bedtime stories
*squealing bubble baths
*times to rock an upset baby or child in a rocker until they’re soothed
*late night talks sitting on their bed talking about their day
*occasions to talk to them about why THEIR life is so precious and that THEY have a mission straight from God
*pushes on the swing
*prayers to God over Mom, Dad, brother and the grammies and granddads
*times we knew in our guts that holding them for hours even though our backs ached and our floors went unvacuumed, was the right thing to do
*chances to see them conquer their fears and go under water for the first time
*times you stand under the tree and pray she’s as sure-footed as she thinks she is
*to watch how they can figure out the most complicated Lego creation
*times to stand in awe as their little bodies somehow magically put together all the information to ride a bike without training wheels
*times your “disabled” son reaches out to touch a stranger in a store, only to see that stranger beam with happiness
*peanut butter and jelly handprints on your antique furniture
*first T-ball games
*incentives to grow yourself up every morning and think about what’s in the best interest of someone else that day
*times you roll over to find your child curled up next to you in the middle of the night
*piano recitals
*books not read
*mugs of hot chocolate on a cold day
*kites flown
*snowmen never created
*smiles of pride when they’ve finally mastered their times tables
*diapers that needed to be changed right that second, helping us yet again realign our priorities
*Girl Scout cookie sales
*first steps
*hikes through the woods
*canon balls into the deep end on a hot day
*”I’m sorry Mom–I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings” and know that they actually meant it
*brand new rainboots baptized in deep and murky mud puddles
*first words
*lizards caught by fast little hands
*walks to the park to explore and meet new friends
*ballet classes
*first dollars earned
*first times crossing-the-street
*first times answering the family phone
*requests to use the phone to call their new best friend
*kisses on the lips
*dogs petted, scratched and patted-too-hard
*violin practices overheard even though the bedroom door was closed

This partial list doesn’t even begin to tell the story of what we’ve missed.  What our babies have missed.  And you know what’s sad right along side of this hideous statistic?  There are thousands and THOUSANDS of people EVERY YEAR that Roe v. Wade has been alive in this country that will DO ANYTHING to adopt a child!!  There are plenty of people like us who have never wanted to give birth…..adoption has been the ONLY thing we’ve EVER wanted to do and we are NOT alone!  Then there are far more families in the U.S. who come to adoption from other paths in life, but who are JUST as willing to parent a child they didn’t personally create.  There’s just NO logical, mathematical reason for the atrocity of 54 million dead babies.  Adoption is too simplistic a solution you say?  Not everyone can just go out and adopt, you say?  That’s a lie.  We did it and we’re not the brightest bulbs in the box.  And we didn’t have any money.  We called our local Department of Social Services office.  Was it a hard process?  YES.  Was it “fair”?  NO.  Were there injustices committed against the children we were trying to adopt?  YES.  Was it worth it?  YES.  Did we end up with the children we were meant to have?  YES.

Our children didn’t just fall out of the sky and land in our laps.  We lost a total of six babies previous and throughout the process of being able to adopt our two.  Our oldest child’s birth mom had already aborted one baby previous to becoming pregnant with him.  We are eternally grateful to her that she held onto him because God uses this child EVERYDAY to make this world a better place.  He is special, he is unique and his love that comes STRAIGHT from God is powerful.  Our second’s child’s journey to earth was MUCH rougher.  Her birth mom was too deeply entrenched in darkness and disease to see that her baby had any value.  But God miraculously brought her to us and she’s been loved and nurtured everyday of her life.  She is HIGHLY valued and we pray over her and with her everyday.  Despite, or maybe because of the onslought of chemicals she endured for her first few months of life, she is resilient, she has a tender heart and she understands things of a spiritual nature FAR beyond her years.  She is smart, very vulnerable and she is fiercely brave.  The journey’s been gut-wrenching to be sure.  We mourn those we couldn’t keep.  We wonder where they are and if they’re treasured and adored.  But we do know that our family as it exists right now is ours.  It’s our treasure and our gift that we did NOTHING to deserve.  Our babies weren’t “accidentally” born or conceived.  They were born for a much higher purpose than my brain will ever be able to understand.  They are ours and we are theirs. Forever.  And while I’m extremely grateful for what we have, I mourn for the families who are missing someone at the table tonight because we’ve said their babies’ lives don’t matter.  Equally troubling is that we haven’t done anything as a society to teach young people that an unborn life IS life and a precious life no matter what the circumstances were that brought that life to be.

54 million tears

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1 Comment

  1. Brilliant. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.-Angela (aka Caffeinated Autism Mom)www.caffeinatedautismmom.com

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