That’s So Aspie!

THAT’S SO ASPIE!!!

And from the new hit show, “That’s So Aspie!!”, here’s the latest episode: Hubs just reminded daughter at the dinner table after she asked to be excused that they (he & she) would be in charge of clean-up after dinner, so be available for that. She said, “Again? Why me? Why not Mom???—-she never helps!”. Now, to our credit, the girl-child is still alive (presumably playing with Legos in her room awaiting her child labor hours to resume), so 500 bonus points to us. I mention this story (just one of 5,874 from this week alone I assure you) to highlight just a snippet of what life is like w/ a child with Asperger’s. She truly believed (at that moment anyway) that I really don’t “help” around the house. Now, at the risk of sounding defensive I offer this: despite what the in-laws think, our daughter is NOT spoiled or overly indulged, she DOES have daily & weekly chores for which she is responsible, and we do provide accountability and natural consequences. No, this scenario highlights what Aspies lack (especially compared to their chronological ages) and that is perspective, or theory of mind. Oh, and episodic memory, which is the brain’s ability to recall a variety of situations, events, and happenings in your life, so you can relate it to a current situation. (think how babies/toddlers overcome separation anxiety: they learn through episodic memory that Mom & Dad DO come back for them and usually within a few months, the child has moved through that developmental stage. Many, MANY children on the spectrum don’t go through that stage till much later, contributing to their developmental delays). The reason that you, at the age of 13 1/2, NEVER in a MILLION YEARS would think to say to your mother “You never helps around the house” is that at the top of your brain were at least five examples of how she had helped you personally within the last two hours alone (that’s an overly simplified definition of episodic memory). Never mind that you also possessed a social-filter (which helped keep you alive). So, preoccupation with self + lack of perspective for the people around you + lack of filters on thoughts & feelings = bombastic statements.

Life in a nutshell. And why we as parents of kiddos on the spectrum desperately need breaks.

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